What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Why does my crush always looks at me in a sad way whenever I talk with other boys, and if he catch me staring on him then he go and flirt with other girls and then check if I am looking at him?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

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About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

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What! how could you do that?

True - how I loved my mum!

Do you know what she said mum?

How could Trump, with his deplorable garbage supporters, manage to win an election?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

What do you mean son?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

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Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?